How it Happens - Year 1
by Sweepeaspatch
Summary: The personal case log of D.S. Camille Bordey
1. Chapter 1

**How it Happens – Season One - part 1 of 5**

Personal Case Log of: **D.S. Camille Bordey**

 **This is NOT a diary!** **It's NOT!**

 **The Charlie Hulme case**

It starts off innocently enough... just another assignment but on my home turf this time. I was looking forward to relaxing and revisiting my childhood haunts – but something else decided to haunt me instead! Oh, I must have been a very bad person to deserve such retribution!

We meet unexpectedly. He's suddenly 'in my midst' and all my tried and true evasive procedures fail for some reason. He's off kilter somehow – stiff - a stranger in a strange land - but he's just a man and I sense his response, muted as it is. I smiled then I cried. Easy. Putty in my hands. This one will be no problem. Just side-step him and carry on, right?

Dwayne and Fidel told me all about the big reveal. I try to follow the deductive reasoning but it eludes me. Some of it made perfect sense if you followed the clues step by step… but the deductive leap about the book was breath-taking! I almost wish I'd been there to see it. Doesn't matter, I'm due for my next assignment. Good riddance!

Did I say he'd be no problem? Wrong! Problem. Big problem. He's dogged and determined and now he's blown my cover. Insult to injury, I am forced to work with him. Daily exposure to that? Hell really is what you least expect. Commissioner Patterson is most definitely a conniving back-stabber!

If I want to get the whip-hand on him, more study is needed… I don't understand him at all.

 **What is this 'locked room' stories he tells me about?**

 **The Dead Bride case**

Hell would be preferred to this. Everything he says grates on my nerves. His every move screams 'stuffed shirt'. He's smug, rude, condescending and metropolitan… all he does is moan about England and a proper cup of tea. I'd send him back in a big box if I could. I might even punch some air holes!

I tore a strip off him today! Felt wonderful! **Hah, Mr. Green Eyes!**

… **where did that come from?**

It was fun to wind him up, too easy, really. He's still smarting from being banished here.

I followed his logic a bit better this time, perhaps we can learn to work together, after all? He sure exposed the Watson family's dirty laundry in a hurry… and he needed my input to do that… so there!

I was there for the big reveal on this case… what a ham! This must be the only way he gets to be the centre of attention and he sure enjoys himself! However, my frustration got the better of me! He tried to warn me off but I ignored him. What does he know about a woman's fear of a certain type of man? And my deep hatred of such men? My throat is still a bit sore but it was almost worth it. He smacked the bad guy with the only plausible nearest weapon in the room… he is a bit of a street fighter, maybe? Three grown men couldn't get William off me but HE swans in like a dancer and… I wonder what he was like when he was younger and on the streets? **No… maybe I don't** **No! I don't!**

Study is paying off. Slowly, I think I'm coming to understand him a bit more and I'm learning to recognize his 'aha' moment even if I don't yet know how to follow his reasoning. Peeling off his layers is hard work. I suspect his mind is deep, cool, precise, but it's being carried about by a thin, weedy, non-descript body with zero social skills. He's so annoying!

Why should I care? He's the boss. I'll indulge him until I get my transfer then I will tell him exactly what I think of him! He can take notes with that stupid little silver pen he loves so much! **Hah!**

END – part 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

 **The Voodoo case**

Dance naked around a campfire! You light the fire - I'll take off my clothes! The skips my heart made took me completely by surprise. Uh oh. I need a day off. This can't mean what I think it means. I'm not a teenager any more. **Right. Professional. That's me. Man up, Bordey.**

He took the heat for me over arresting the Head Master without enough proof. I don't need him to take care of me! But… it felt kind of nice, just the same. Better not get used to it, though. He's off-island as soon as he can manage it… and me too.

I don't need HIM to tell ME that it's a small island! How can I avoid him? He's everywhere!

And those pyjamas! On a grown man! I wouldn't have said what I said if I hadn't been so stunned by all that cloth! Of course, it he hadn't been wearing them… **merde**

Have to admit, though, that Prussian Blue Test and the fish tank fumey thing were pretty damn impressive. What's it like? Having a big brain like that? It was so funny watching the Head Master try to bluff him. Don't bluff a master, mister! Play games?! Richard showed that jerk how it's really done.

Watching all the little switches light up in his head when he solved the case was truly a sight. Good thing the Commissioner saw it – I'm almost sure he has started pulling strings to keep the man here, on the island… maybe not such a back-stabber, after all.

And THIS time he let me do the big reveal! It was thrilling! Mystery solved… AND THEN he dropped the bombshell on us! I didn't see that coming. No one did. And the way he cuffed the Head Master with that almost balletic move, so smooth and effortless. The man was shackled without realizing it! Bon! **I bet he's a good dancer.**

The whole town is in an uproar over his solving a 15-year old cold case! We are all basking in his reflected glory. He's got his nose buried in paperwork. Typical. He needs to relax a bit, enjoy his temporary celebrity status. Maman is going to reward him with a surprise supper.

Finally, at the supper, he toasted me right in front of everyone. That's got to mean something, right?

Maybe I should learn a bit about English cuisine?

 **The idiot that tried to kill her husband and couldn't even manage it case**

 **Megan Talbot! Grrrrr, get off my island! The less said about this case, the better!**

I had a very hard time keeping my calm through this case. I haven't felt such unexpected jealous anxiety since high school. It was NOT pleasant. How am I to know his true feelings in the matter? It's not like I can ask him although I'm ashamed to say I razzed him mercilessly about the woman. It's a wonder he kept his temper with me. Just goes to show, he's a gentleman on the inside as well as the outside. Lucky for me. I don't need an insubordination warning on my file.

He likes puzzles. He IS the puzzle.

He told me he can't read body English. That explains a lot.

I DID learn one thing… he's lonely… and susceptible to feminine charms… just not MY charms! I almost felt sorry for him. Did his heart break a little bit? Why would he let someone like that inside his defenses and not me? **What am I doing, thinking like this? Maybe I should take up jogging again?**

But – he ran up the beach to my rescue – all that sand and in the dark. I saw those dance moves once more as he cleared the rocks. Does he play any sports, I wonder? I'd love to watch him in motion. **Or take him dancing**

Mustn't forget Boaty… being trapped in such a small space and knowing he would NEVER jump ship to escape… the stuff of dreams… **How to get him on the water after dark?**

I've learned a lot from him. Now I use my new-found skills against him. He thinks I'm his secret weapon for the good of the law. I think I'm his secret enemy for the good of his heart.

END – part 2


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

The stabbing on the ferry case

This case was scary! It was such a shock to see him so rattled… I thought he would jump out of his skin at the dock! Then, having to listen to the Commissioner chew him out! Oh, sweet agony, he bore it so bravely. Somehow I just knew he was reliving his Croydon life! And he scared us all by saying he offered to 'be shipped home in disgrace'. As if! Even on his worst day, he is a million times better than anyone else. I almost ran to him right in front of Dwayne and Fidel except he started a fight with the whiteboard and I was saved. **Whew… that was close. Yep yep, as he likes to say. So cute.**

I should have been with him on the ferry! He needs someone to watch his back, someone who cherishes his safety. Who knows? I might save his life someday. **Then he would OWE me!**

His birthday… how old? I never thought about his age before. Could he possibly think he's too old for me? Or I'm a neurotic with Daddy issues? And his history. Is there a woman, or women, involved? Is that why he wants to go home so badly? **My stomach hurts**

Oh, yes, and that Murder Mystery Fan Lady! She had the nerve to actually touch him! Lots of women right here on the island who might like to get to know him a lot better… no need to worry about the ones back in England… I'm not going to say her name! **Glass of wine coming right up!**

Down on the beach, I asked him if he'd ever been in love. Total silence, probably stone-faced. I wished I'd had the courage to watch his reaction. It might have given me a clue as to his heart… or lack thereof.

That bank manager better not come sniffing around.

What stories are swirling in town! Maman told me all about it. Richard chasing Gordon Foster like a vengeful fury! And putting him in the hospital! Once I learned the truth, I kept quiet. Let people admire him how they want. **I do**

Oh, the interview of Samuel King! Priceless! Let him see my effect on men! **Well, most men.**

And, for the first time, a man's reaction to me felt old, boring, been-there-done-that. I have a much more exotic quarry in my sights but all I can seem to do is track him. **How to capture? How to keep?**

I had a real scare during his usual grand-standing, 'I'm such a clever clogs', right-as-usual Big Reveal. Not since William have I seen such menace in a man's eyes. I thought for sure Leon was going to go for Richard except Richard was too quick for him and blasted him with the truth before Leon could jump him. Oh, what if he'd had a knife! What if he'd known how smart Richard is and that he would figure it out? A silent stab in the dark and he might have gotten away with it! I really have to be more vigilant!

It was glorious to watch, though! Better than anything on the TV... AND he gave full credit to Fidel! What a kind man, not a vain bone in his… **Hmmm, best leave it there, I think**

Him asleep in his chair. I wished I'd gone alone… or come back a little later. **Why am I such a coward?**

 **The scuba-diver case**

His eyes. They were there every night when I tried to fall asleep. I swear I saw him behind me in reflections in shop windows on the street. **Am I haunting myself? Isn't Paris far enough to escape him?**

Then the call from Maman – he's sick! Sicker than sick! Tropical fever… oh, Richard! I should be there to take care of you. Maman told me what you said in your delirium. I don't know what to think. If I'd been there, I would have gotten to the bottom of it! You couldn't keep secrets during a fever? Surely?

If I'd been there, you would have gotten more than chicken soup! Cold showers, cool sponge baths, lots and lots of tender care. First thing, I just know those stupid pyjamas were involved... OFF!

 **This is going to haunt me forever… such a missed opportunity**

Now something else is bothering me. Maman was there. Through it all.

 **? How do I word THAT question?**

No worries there… she was tearing him to shreds before I even got off the plane. Whatever he said to her, she is livid! Somehow I get the feeling there's more to her story than meets the eye. It wasn't just about the soup. If not, what then? She won't tell me. I'll have to try to weasel it out of him.

I can't ask him outright so I'll have to pick a fight with him and see what he reveals.

He looked so shaky, so pale. My heart wasn't in it. I was just so glad to see him upright and mostly in his right mind. I've heard people suffer brain damage from tropical fever. Please Erzuli, spare him, not just for my sake but his as well. Without his mind, he'd be ordinary, still too handsome but…

 **What exactly am I saying?** **Am I in love with his mind or his body?**

 **Would I take one over the other?**

 **This is going to keep me up tonight!**

 **The mind AND the body...**

 **Insomnia, here I come…**

END – part 3


	4. Chapter 4

**PART 4**

 **The dead man in the coffin case**

Ah, the Solomon case. We were so attuned **HAH, a music joke!**

We were almost completing each other's sentences. Maybe his fever did do something inside his head, he seems closer somehow, more accessible. There was an odd moment, though, something to do with shoes but he forged on with some flimsy explanation and I forgot all about it. Until now. **Shoes?**

And the map lecture, was it because he was uncomfortable about Dwayne's description of Solly's outlook on women? Does he agree? Does he disagree? Somehow, I can't picture him treating a woman badly, not like that. **How WOULD he treat a woman? And will I ever find out?**

I tested him about it with the album cover. The look he gave me said all I needed to know.

Poor Michelle, she was no match for him. Can anyone keep a secret from him?

 **Just me, it seems… and IS it a secret? Has he already read me and cast me aside? Spurned before I even get a chance to present my case? Could he be so cold and cruel? I'm caught in an awful middle ground here… what do I do? What?**

When he laughed with us in La Kaz about pouting, it was such fun. What wouldn't I give to have conversations like that with him all the time! He has a playful side but I only see it by accident.

Ah. The snake. The words fell out of my mouth before I heard them. Christ! Why couldn't he ignore me one more time! But no. He hears. And his momentary fluster and hopeful pause made my heart leap! If Dwayne hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened. By that I mean I know EXACTLY what I wanted to happen. Not knowing his response, awaiting developments, thrills me.

Hah! The rubber snake. Such a fun prank and he played along so wonderfully! I think it pleased him somehow… he could have gotten stroppy but he didn't. Maybe he's beginning to see me as an intimate part of his life now?

He seemed a bit shaky with Curtis, especially the man-hug thing. Why shoot me such panicked glances? Was he worried I'd think he was gay? **Hah! As if.**

 **Um. Hah?**

 **Oh, god, NOW what? My brain is insane to even wonder about it!**

 **Why was he so nervous about it? Because it's true and he's afraid I'll find out? Because it isn't true and he's afraid I'll think it is?**

 **Oh, I need an aspirin… and a drink… and another aspirin**

 **OK, drugs and alcohol have been applied…let's start over.**

 **Is he gay? NON, he is NOT. Megan Talbot, may she rot safely back**

 **there in England, proved that.**

 **So, my opinion matters, does it?**

 **Ummm, that's nice.**

He made another risqué statement back at the station when he was angry and frustrated.

I used to limbo when I was younger…

And there's me, taking his side against Dwayne. **Sorry, Dwayne** **.**

And there we three sat at the table while he found a clue right out of the Twilight Zone! I am never going to forget this one. HOW did he know? HOW could he find one wrong note in all that noise? And HOW could he hear us talking over all that noise? Does he read lips too? Wouldn't surprise me in the least! Must be more careful with my sotto voce comments. Should probably stop saying things around him. Some day something will slip out that I don't want him to hear. And then where would I be? 

**In his arms? Out on the street?**

Another scare when Eddie rushed him. Thoughts of Leon and his knife flashed through me… oh, why wasn't I guarding him like I promised myself? Got lucky that time. Next time… who knows?

OUR DANCE!

I had him in my arms, right there in front of me, my cheek almost on his shoulder… and then…

 **What happened?**

 **Did he come to me knowing the song was ending in moments?**

 **Was he taunting me? Could he truly be that cruel?**

 **Or clueless? Or cunning?**

 **What is going on inside that head?**

 **That beautiful head?!**

When he raised his glass to me from the table, was that a challenge? A promise? A taunt?

END – part 4

**Author's note: sorry but this story got longer too. Final chapter tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

 **The coins in the mouth case**

You bet I watched his reaction to Georgie Wescott! Another one just his type! Grrr. Fortunately, for him, he seemed immune. **He lives another day!**

And the whole thing with Dwayne, that shook us all up. We forgot who and what he is… the boss… the cool brain behind the detective. But somehow, he managed to make it right again. **He IS trying, I'm sure of it.**

And our stupid fight over him not coming out for drinks after work! Foolish. He doesn't owe us anything, certainly not the precious down-time he manages for himself.

 **I want that down-time for ME, that's the real reason we fought.**

And that second Englishman, nattering on about how cold it is in England right now. Cold! What's the big deal? Except, if you're cold then you look for ways to warm up. If you are already hot, you don't want to make yourself hotter… **Merde, there's the problem right there! How do I solve that?**

 **Hmmm, can I afford A/C?**

It was great watching him show up that Brit… 2 years without closure?

Richard could open a school and teach them all a thing or ten…

 **The Sherlock Poole School of Detection… Hah!**

The only good thing to come out of it all was Aidan… and look how that ended!

 **Are the Bordey women cursed?**

 **I know I feel like cursing as more and more time is wasted!**

Oh, Fidel's baby is so cute!

 **A baby, something I've tried not to think about for quite a while now. Small, precious, tender, green eyes…**

 **It's official. I've lost my mind.**

I saw the look Maman gave Richard. I hope she lets me handle this! The last thing I need is for her to decide to manage the situation for me. I may be devious but she makes me look like a beginner. Now I have to guard myself on two fronts! **Isn't that how Germany lost the war?**

I never thought the day would end, but then… there on the beach... two chairs... sitting together, watching the waves, drinking the cool beers… "There is one thing I've come to love. My own company." My spiking heart rate slammed down. **So frustrated!** **So angry! So close...**

Yet… he claims inner peace. At last. After a long hard year, he's finally accepted his lot. I wonder what he would have done if I had told him there were two things I wanted to do without any interference from him? He might have agreed… he might be curious… then I would have stood up and faced him. I would have studied those amazing green eyes until I saw what I was looking for.

 **WILL I ever see it?**

Then I would have wrapped myself around him and kissed him.

He must have sensed something because he immediately distracted me and the moment was over.

 **But there will be future moments, lots of them. I will be watching for them now. Any one of them might be the opening I need. All I need is a single moment… the RIGHT moment! There has to be a chink in his armour and I'm going to find it!**

 **Find it or make it!**

 **Make it or break it!**

 **En garde, Mr. English! You are losing this battle and you don't even know it yet… but you will.**

END – How it Happens

**Author's note: my original script shows Camille's hand-written comments in bold 'Lucida Handwriting' font in dark blue. I picture her starting off with a disposable pen then switching to an old-fashioned fountain pen in honour of her muse.

I am working on a S2 story where RP finds these notes… mayhem ensues, of course.

I have just starting transcribing S2 and it takes multiple viewings before the stories start to come… so I am taking a break until June 1. I can only hope my own muse comes to my aid once more. Surely he wouldn't abandon me in my time of need?**


End file.
